The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry this link happen, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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